Don’t force their children to say hello! Hurt the child’s life! – Sohu maternal and child "children can not be so rude to say, aunt ah!" Back to Taiwan for three weeks, whether it is to other people’s homes, or in public places to greet people, often encounter adult half guide, semi forced to their hands or arms of the children say hello to me. More afraid of children, always follow the adults, softly say "good aunt rather burma." Personality is more introverted, sensitive, he pursed her lips, while the back side, catching my eye, do not say it is not said. Standing on the side of the adults also feel embarrassed, feel that they do not teach the child well, can not help but began to blame the tone, said: children can not be so rude……" And so on. Small does not mean that the line is also very low self-esteem every time to hear adults say that children, always feel good enough. I used to be a child, and now every day to get along with the children, a deep understanding of the adults said "rude" feeling, is a shame, but also a kind of frustration. Ashamed of their own bad, not sweet mouth; frustration is not good to do, let the adults disappointed. This kind of feeling, all at the same time in a public occasion, under the watchful eyes of the people, was pulled out. I often think that no adults suffer their humiliation in a public occasion, why our children (children) should bear? Why we would not hesitate, superior, in under the watchful eyes of the people, against the legs or waist height and only children? Perhaps the key point is that we do not feel that children have self-esteem. We feel that their body is short, there is not much feeling, not too much self-esteem. Therefore, our words will not let the child hurt, even if the injury, but also a little. In addition, the adult words is a kind of teaching, "the child is to teach!" Perhaps, when we were young, our self-esteem was also looked at, so now we grow up, we can not see the child’s self-esteem? We can’t see the station in the giant Bush child, fear of strangers. We can’t see the child’s sense of guilt, because even his beloved parents (and grandparents) also feel that he is not good enough, in all adults under the gaze of scolded him. Yes, in front of the crowd scolded the child, "teach the children" responsibility is done, will never fall one breath. In all of the "eyes" directly affixed to the child label (rude, too noisy, disobedient…) , "alert the child" to achieve the goal, as if from the "good child" goal is getting closer. But is shame useful? What is the problem of child rearing by means of shame? A language, violence in shame as the means, the first paradox met, is the language of violence. If we let a person think of the social system of shame, will soon receive the education effect, the direct face-to-face using "rude, you will die, so no one will love you you, you really, really bad luck to you……" And so on the language, also take for granted! This kind of language, a direct attack on the individual’s self-esteem, let a person feel small, Nothing is right., an effect is a shame. Child life.相关的主题文章: