Love not easily won, "sick" and how to deal with the relationship between mother and infant, a Sohu – not every mother has a "maternal love" if there is a very important person to you, asking you to be always harsh, has been looking for your mistakes, never happy for you. When something bad happens, you start to blame. Day after day, year after year, the way a little bit erode your confidence and sense of self worth, destroy your own good feeling all that you think you don’t deserve any good stuff, is not likely to complete a goal. This person’s behavior is called emotional abuse. Six years ago, Elmar began to participate in a community group therapy, but the effect is not good. Then the teacher introduced her to a psychologist. All the problems in the treatment point to her relationship with her mother. When Elmar was 34 years old, my mother always said to her, "honey, you are so bad to me.". My dear, what I do is wrong in your eyes. My dear, what can I do to make you happy? Because she used to say so, Elmar really thought he was a bad girl. Every time her mother told her she was not good to her, she was filled with guilt and felt that she was really a bad person. Elmar had to try to satisfy all the demands of her mother, because she felt she owed her mother. Every time I argue with my mother, my mother always says, "why can’t you understand me?" I did this for you. Elmar didn’t think these words were brainwashed until she received psychotherapy. She will do everything in order to meet the needs of the mother a lot, with all efforts to understand her". In such a relationship between the mother and daughter, mother Elmar has been to prove one thing, mother wronged her, she is a good daughter. However, it gradually became a mother against her "weapon", as long as the mother said that Elmar is not good for her, she will try to prove that her mother was wrong, and the mother can get what they want. Elmar in the first few years in psychotherapy, she has always stressed that the consultant: "I thought about her, but I always not up to her standard. This is my fault." "It’s your fault." Elmar was instilled in her mother’s "idea", even by his mother to continue to find their own mistakes and shortcomings. But Elmar did not realize this, and she got along so well, and others get along so. Elmar is considered to be responsible for any problems. Even her and her husband’s failed marriage, she thought it was my fault". It’s not easy to see the truth about your mother’s relationship. After a few years of psychotherapy, Elmar finally told her what I thought I would not accept the way you treat me, I love you, but I will not let you control. Two, what kind of mother "toxic" a lot of culture to promote the mother to give their children the love of selfless, pure, great. But that may not be the case. No woman is born to love her children, and they can develop a relationship with their children.相关的主题文章: